I had every intention of finding the time to share my birth story for this next post, but after a rough couple of days I have been inspired to blog about this instead. * I will do my birth story next. Promise* Go figure I magically find free time when I am angry... So here goes nothing. I am sick to death of mommy judgment. As someone who hasn't ever really "fit in" I suppose I was under this weird impression that once I became a mom I would have this new comradery with other mothers. I always fantasized about making new friends, getting the kids together for play dates, supporting each other through the daily struggles of having children, and I don't know, just being...happy? Wrong. Apparently the world of catty women doesn't change with circumstance or age.
Since the day I announced I was pregnant and people started asking questions about my parenting preferences I have been continuously blindsided by negative comments and judgment. I cant help but wondering "where is this coming from?!". Its not like I plan to abuse or neglect my child in any shape or form, so shouldn't I get a pat on the back? There will always be judgment, and I am not above it either. I can admit I have friends who occasionally make decisions with their children that I would never make, BUT I don't feel the need to verbally critique them. My way isn't the right way. There is no such thing as a right way if we are all doing our best. We have different lives, different family dynamics, different personalities, so how could I ever be so cocky as to think I can tell others they are wrong? How could you tell me I'm wrong? If I'm debating on feeding my child cyanide please by all means, pose an intervention. But, I'm not considering something like that.
I am however no longer breastfeeding, I am cloth diapering, I am making my own baby food, I want to try to give birth med free someday, I lost my baby weight fast, I don't believe in attachment parenting, Sometimes I'm going to let my kids cry, I am entertaining the idea of homeschooling, I am nervous about vaccinations, I will pierce my baby girls ears, and I will raise my kids in church. These are only the arguments/judgments I can think of offhand that have happened in these short 10 months, and I know there are more I'm forgetting.
Even thought I'm too prideful to show it, I have to admit my feelings are hurt. I have cried, questioned my own principals, and in turn gossiped and said horrible things in return out of frustration. However, I don't think its fair for me to become bitter and judgmental because others are. Fact of the matter is I am beyond elated to be a mother and I wont have that experience cheapened by negativity.
I still look forward to finding my place in this new mommy world. I know it will happen eventually, but ill have to exercise caution with who I let in. I only hope that other moms will stand their ground also. We are all doing the best we can with what we've got. Being a mom isn't always glitter and unicorns, it can be lonely and really hard. We need each other for support. We are an elite group. No one can fully understand until they have gone through it themselves, and we all need to keep that in mind before we jump on our soapbox and start the unsolicited preaching.
