I had planned on going into my first birth with an open mind. I didn't think I cared how things went as long as everyone made it out unscathed, and for the most part that was true, but I didn't realize my idea of childbirth would be derailed so badly.
After spending months taking Hypnobirthing classes, I was feeling confident in my abilities to birth. I wanted miss Aria to have every chance possible to come into this world has naturally and stress free as possible, but then Dylon's work decided to send him off out of town ten hours away. I had hoped that Aria would magically know to come during one of the weeks that her daddy would be home, but after my due date came and went it was apparent that wasn't going to be the case.
My doctor presented me with the options to either forgo my plans of having things be natural and induce my labor, or wait and have her alone. There wasn't any question that having my husband by my side was the best option, however, I did feel disappointed and scared that things were already not going as planned.
So with the decision made, we headed to the hospital the next evening. When I arrived I was 1 centimeter dilated and 0% effaced. Aka Aria had no plans on coming out anytime soon. They gave me Cervidil that night in hopes that my cervix would be softened by morning. It wasn't. There was no change at all, and so from there we started on Pitocin to get my contractions going. Nothing happened. From there they decided to break my water, and that finally worked, but not really. My contractions were more intense and hard then they would have been naturally because of the Pitocin, and it still took 19 hours to even get dilated from a 1 to a 5. By then I was throwing up/dry heaving with every contraction because I was so tired and hungry, so I decided to waist my $200 Hypnobirthing class and get an epidural. By then I was so exhausted I was practically begging for the anesthesiologist to come, but known my luck he was in a surgery and I had to wait two more hours before he would be available. Once I got it, it only took on one side of my body, and no matter what we did with changing positions and upping the dosage it would not take on the other side. It did however, take the edge off enough that even though I still felt nauseous I wasn't sick anymore. AND apparently taking that edge off was just what I needed, because I went from a 5 to ready to push in 45 minutes. My doctor explained that some people cant relax enough to let their bodies dilate without the epidural. However, I still think I could have used the techniques I had learned in birthing class to relax enough if I could have stopped throwing up, but it is what it is. In hindsight I'm a little disappointed I put myself through 19 hours of labor just for the sake of trying to be a warrior. It could have been a much more enjoyable experience if I had just put away my pride and gotten the epi as soon as it was available.
Once it was time to push, my doctor was busy delivering another baby so my nurses kept trying to coax me to push but not "too hard". After a while the nurse had to rush to get my doctor because Aria's heart rate was dropping and we couldn't wait any longer. I pushed for two hours, she got stuck, and her heart rate dropped again. We had to emergency use the suction cup along with my pushing, in a last ditch effort to get her out without having to go into C-section. Once she was finally out she was rushed away from me because she had aspirated on a bowel movement that came out during birth because of the stress she was under.
I just laid there, and no one told me what was going on. According Dylon, it was really scary. She was having a hard time breathing and they had to shove tubes down her throat and in her nose to get her going. I know this should have been a scary time for me, but honestly after 22 hours of labor, it didn't even occur to me to wonder why they didn't give her to me or why she wasn't crying. I just waited, and finally they brought her over. I didn't have that overwhelming feeling of love. I don't think I was even capable of emotion by that point, but I do remember thinking she had crazy long fingers and the cutest little dimples.
After things calmed down, we bonded, and I loved her. She is a cutie pie, and even though her birth was probably a version of one of the worst scenarios I could think of, I am so happy to have her. I am also unbelievably grateful to God that we had the protection and strength to overcome the things that could have taken a turn for much worse. She really is a blessing, and I wouldn't trade her for anything, but I do hope things go a little more smoothly next time around. :)
