Blogust Day 5/Word Of The Day Is Accident

Hello Everyone!

Today I want to talk about an incident that recently happened in our state. I am so infuriated that I hope I can keep it together enough to sound grounded in my thoughts. Its about a mother who left her baby in a hot car on "accident" which led to its tragic death. If you want to read the news article first here it is. 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/utah-baby-dies-forgotten-hot-car-article-1.1890957

Its things like this that make we wish I had the willpower not to read the news. The events in this world truly blow my mind... I just CAN NOT apply any form of logic or understanding to the situation. What this mother has done makes me sick and it is 110% murder. No one can convince me otherwise. 

I believe this because, seven months ago I was lucky enough to give birth to my sweet baby Aria. She is the most amazing thing that has ever happened in my life, and I will tell you there is no way in hell I could ever ever EVER forget about her. Seriously how the #@%$ do you forget you reproduced for a second? What did this woman do, just randomly tap out on life? I'm sorry everyone, but when I'm respondng to these kind of stories its hard for me to keep my language in check. 

There are so many things in this situation that are wrong. Lets just talk a little walk through of the chain of events.

1. Mother drops off older kids, and instead of dropping off the baby at day care took her home.- Ok that's normal, but unfortunately its where normal stops.

2. Mom cant drive up to her house because of construction, so she parks down the road. She has a bathroom emergency and runs home to take care of it. - Ok fine except that SHE LEFT HER BABY IN THE CAR AND DID'NT COME BACK!!! Apparently she "thought" she had dropped her off at daycare. Ummm WTF?! Did you actually go to the daycare? No. Do you have magical baby teleportation powers? No? Well then I think its safe to say you didn't drop her off, idiot. The mother goes on to claim this was all a horrible accident because she didn't stick to her usual schedule. Again I have to throw out a WTF? Are you robot? You're really trying to convince me that you're so dim you cant function if your days aren't exactly the same everyday. Lord help us if this is true. I cant do anything besides face palm to that excuse. 

I feel entitled to say these somewhat mean things because I too am a mother, I work, I'm busy, I'm tired, an average three hours of sleep a night kind of tired, my husband isn't home often, blah blah blah...but letting my kid die in a burning hot car isn't even a possibility in my life. I will admit all these things take a big tole one me. I am forgetful at times, but my idea of forgetting something important is when I lose my phone, or debit card. I'm so bad with my phone that I have a "find my phone" website saved as one of my favorites. However, I'm not so bad that I could forget the daughter I spent 22 hellacious hours giving birth to, and I sure as hell don't think I went places and did things I didn't. That is a level ten bat shit crazy. 

The whole situation is awful, but when we have the mothers sister advocating for her innocence and condemning people for criticizing her and hurting her feelings, it makes me outrageously angry. This woman deserves to receive criticism! She deserves to feel bad! She killed her kid! Everyone is focusing on this "poor" mothers feelings while I have yet to see anyone talking about the baby's feelings. How do you think that sweet helpless baby felt abandoned, dieing of heat exhaustion, crying/screaming out for help to no avail? Even typing that makes me sick to my stomach. 

Miss Aria had her six month shots today and that horrible face of betrayal she gave me while I was holding her down brought tears to my eyes. Even something I know is for her own good can make me feel guilty. She is so sweet, and innocent, and helpless. She relies on me to keep her alive. She trusts me above anyone else. I dread doing anything, even if necessary, that would damage that. 

If I feel bad for restraining my baby in order to get shots, this mother SHOULD feel bad for the death of her baby. I refuse to tiptoe around to save her feelings, and I refuse to live in a world where it is acceptable to leave your child in a hot car to die if it was an accident. Tough love my friends.

So my question of the day is: Do you think this situation truly falls into the category of accident? If so, why do you think she is innocent? 

Blogust Day 4/Im So Tired I Could Die

Hello Everyone!

Here's the deal. I physically can not blog tonight. Between working the past two days, moms group activities, single mom-ing it up for the next two weeks, and last nights no sleep, I am a real life version of the walking dead. The only reason I'm even typing this is because I committed to doing it and I have to lol. Ill write for real tomorrow. Good night :)

This is how I feel....

Blogust Day 3/Get Me Outta Here/Rants Of An OCD Mother

Hello Everyone!

Recently I have convinced Dylon that we need to move into town. We put our house on the market a couple weeks ago and are anxiously awaiting its sell. For those of you who don't know, we live approximately forty minutes out of real civilization in a small town of about four hundred people. Its beautiful here and when I stop to think about it, I understand why we chose to move in a couple years ago. However, with where we are in life right now, we *mostly I* NEED out.

Its nights like tonight that it becomes ever so evident how very badly I want to move. I worked today until 9:30 p.m., picked up Aria from my moms, had dinner there, and by 10:30 started my nightly track into the middle of nowhere. That in itself brings out the worry wart in me. Its so late, and there are so many animals and drunk drivers out during that time that I'm surprised I haven't had an incident yet. Tonight was even more nerve wracking than that. About halfway home we ran into some serious flash flood rain. With my windshield wipers going full speed and driving a maximum of 25 mph I was STILL swerving and couldn't see.

Oh and did I mention that my phone was dead and I had forgotten my charger at work??? Typical.

Agh! Let me tell you what, there is nothing more scary than treacherously driving alone with a little baby in the middle of the desert at eleven o'clock at night with no form of communication. It legitimately hurt my soul.

Once we got home I had to run through the darkness of doom *my porch light was off, go figure* as fast as humanly possible to get the doors propped open and prepared to bring Aria in the house. All the while having scary images of us getting hit by lightning running through my head. Seriously guys, the lighting was so close that every time it would strike I would see spots for a second because of the brightness. Anyway, after propping the doors I fly back out to the car, haphazardly throw a blanket over the car seat and take off running inside. By the time we make it in, the blanket has flown off into oblivion, we both look like we just jumped in a pool, and Aria is screaming bloody murder.

On the plus side, after a good change of clothes, and a solid half hour of rocking a traumatized baby back to sleep, life is back into its normal rhythm. Still, its nights like these that I KNOW our decision to move to town is the right one. The drive is just too far, and Miss Aria and I are so alone that it makes me sick with worry. We may be inside now, but there is still a flash flood going on outside, there is still lightning too close for comfort. If something bad were to happen any hosptals, cops, family, or friends are back in town. And with Dylon working in Nebraska for two weeks every month its just not good.

I swear really am a strong person. I know the answer to "what if something bad happened" would be I would handle it alone. Ill always handle it, but I don't particularly want to have to...

So my question of the day is: What tips would you give to someone getting their house ready to show/sell? I want to do this, and I want to do it right! Share your knowledge! Anyway, if the power goes out tonight I'm going to spontaneously combust. Wish me luck! Good night everyone!

Blogust Day 2/July Favorites

Hello everyone!

Day two of blogust is just going to be a July favorites post, which I had actually already planned to do regularly anyway. Soooo this is kind of a cop out post, but its already 12:42 a.m. I was too busy watching Divergent for the fourth time to think of anything exciting... Priorities. All that aside, here are my favorites from the month of July. :)

Favorite Purchase: Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE perfume. Like I legitimately own around fifty bottles, but I am sick to death of it wearing off in five seconds. I don't know if there is something weird about me, but good smelling things just don't seem to stick. So after some contemplating I decided I needed to layer the perfume products in order for it to stay, and I am happy to say it has worked! That's why my favorite purchase of the month is my French Lavender & Honey collection *body wash, lotion, perfume* from Bath and Body Works. Its soooo good! Check it out next time you're in one of their stores.

Favorite Book: This month I strayed away from my designated book club book and binge read the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead. They rocked my world! I even loved the movie! Totally worth the two hours of sleep a night for a couple weeks.

Favorite Movie: Divergent. My God. So amazing. Its really the only movie I've watched this whole month.

Favorite TV Series: Oh man, I am about to be judged so hard for this. Ill admit my TV watching life was pretty much ruined when the first season of Reign ended. Now I'm left floundering around watching weird stuff. I might be one of the only reminiscing 90's kid still watching Girl Meets World, but it really is so sweet... so cheesy and so sweet. That's why it has eared my sport for favorite TV show. I record it and love it. Cory and Topanga fan for life y'alls!

Favorite Moment: Last month we made our first trip down to Fillmore Utah to visit some of Dylon's family for the 4th. The whole trip was awesome, but my most favorite part of that was going to his grandma and late grandpa's house. Dylon's grandfather used to make/sell art made out of rock and wood. I've heard stories about how talented he was, but I NEVER would have guessed how true that statement was. He did some beautiful and unique work. If anyone is ever in Fillmore stop by the house with a whole bunch of art in the yard. His grandma still shows and sells the stuff; it would be a really fun family pit stop!

Favorite Bloggers: I haven't been reading a lot of blogs in the past month, but I have been subscribing to a lot of vlogs on YouTube to replace my lack of TV watching options. The award for favorite blog/vlog this month goes tooooooo *drum roll* DFW Crunchy Dad!!! This guy posts a "day in the life" video of his family everyday. Joel and his wife Lucy seem like great parents and they have adorable kiddos. They are conservative folk who have a lot of "crunchy/hippie" ideals when it comes to child rearing like Dylon and I do. That's why I love watching them. I really thought I was a montage of weirdness when it came to my views on things, so I'm glad I'm not alone. Also I'm a snoop and I think watching what people do in their daily lives is interesting.

That's it for my favorites. My question of the day is: What show would you recommend for me to start watching on Hulu? It needs to be something I can start from the beginning, which is becoming harder to find these days. Thanks for reading! Also, instead of the song of the day, I've added the intro video to DFW Crunchy Dad's channel for those who are interested in taking a gander. Have a good night everyone!

Blogust Day 1/Class Reunions Are Fun?

Welcome to Blogust everyone! A day late, but better late than never right? I didn't spend any time thinking this through before committing to post every day, so I cant tell you much on what to expect. I do know that ill be doing a book review for a friend's book that just launched on Audible! YAY! And will pprrroooobbably be doing a giveaway for a hard copy of it, so stay tuned for that. Besides the scheduled review, I'm sure ill have other books and movies to review also. I think ill be doing a question of the day, since I actually have a surprising amount of readers lurking, but I don't know who any of you are. This is my plan to try to lure you out *muhaha*. Really though, I have no idea, if YOU have any ideas let me know, otherwise you're stuck with my ramblings 90% of the time :)

Onto todays ramblings!

This weekend was Dylon's 15 year class reunion. Can you believe it?! We're getting deep into adulthood now.

Of course, my socially awkward self had a ridiculous amount of anxiety over it, but in the same breath was quite curious to learn more about his "before me life".

When it came down to time to go, all social interactions were completely weird. I'm 100% sure I seemed more weird than most, even though Dylon will deny it all day long. We did however group up with a few very nice couples, and things seemed to be going ok. I was at least comfortable with my table mates, and there was free Café Rio. Cant complain too much. We listened to some good ol 1999 music *mostly dorky rap*, stuffed our faces, and I eavesdropped on people catching up. I even won this fantastic picture in the silent auction. Hooray!

Even though things were going well, I will be the first to tell you it is flat out uncomfortable being one of the only out of towners at your spouses class reunion. People are judging you hard. No one can deny it. That's half the reason people go to reunions right? To see what everyone's adult life is all about.

I will also be the first to tell you that with my luck, it can definitely get worse than uncomfortable. And that's when the awards ceremony began... They had all kinds of normal awards; most kids, biggest college degree, longest married, but could I get any of those? Ohhh no! Of course not! They just had to have the "sugar daddy award" for biggest age gap in a marriage.

People started shouting out numbers, while I frantically muttered to Dylon "Don't say anything! Don't say anything!". But he said something... We had to go up, accept our award and get our picture taken. All the while I can feel peoples judging eyes boring into me. I could have thrown up. I'm surprised I didn't actually. It was the definition of awful.

For those of you who don't know, or don't want to do the math, Dylon is nine years older than I am. After five years of being together I literally never think about it anymore, until things like this come up. So my question for the day IS, how do you feel about age gaps *in adults*? Is it really all the bad or uncommon? Remember I want your real life opinions on these questions. You're not going to hurt my feelings, so leave a comment and lets see what the consensus is. I'm excited to learn! :) I will talk *type* to you all tomorrow, and until then Happy Blogust!

P.S. I think ill do a song of the day since I added one to my last post. Fun fact *not* Friday I am IN LOVE with folk music! If you haven't listened to Gregory Alan Isakov yet, do it now! Its some amazing-ness!

Sticking with Blogger/Homemaker Tag

Hey everyone! After a small blogging break I am back! Over the past month or so I have been TRYING to figure out what I want to do with this blog, as I am not a fan of Blogger. Maybe I'm somewhat challenged, but after 2 years of having this blog up and running in still not well versed on how to use this website. Actually I'm not any more informed then I was when I started. Frustrating. So, I've spent some time considering moving over to Wordpress, and even went as far as creating a page with them, but alas, its equally if not more confusing. I'm also tempted to just start vlogging on Youtube instead of writing, but well see, for now I'm sticking with Blogger, even if it does make me want to scratch my eyes out.
ANYWAY, onward to the actual point of this post. I was tagged to do the Homemaker Tag! Yay! I have to answer six questions about being a homemaker on my blog and then tag someone else to do it. I have no idea how or even if I can tag someone on here *thanks again Blogger*, so I will be giving a shout out to my victim on Facebook when I share. Alright here goes nothing :)

Homemaker Tag

Disclaimer: I do actually work two days a week just for fun, not money, apparently that doesn't count...

 

1. Growing up what did you see yourself doing?

First and foremost I have always envisioned myself as a homemaker. There is nothing else I have ever wanted more than to be a good wife and mother. Especially a mother; I actually always joked that if I weren't married by thirty I was going to throw in the towel and just start adopting kids on my own. Seriously though, that would have happened. However, in the field of an actual paying career, for the majority of my childhood I wanted to be a electuary school teacher. Later on in my teenage years, after my parents not so pleasant divorce I began to gravitate towards helping children in a more personal way, and changed my mind to child psychology, which is what I began going to college for. Someday when/if I go back to college I'm going to have the dilemma of what I want to be when I grow up all over again, because even though I'm halfway there with psychology, teaching is something that has always been close to my heart.   

 

2.What did your husband think when you decided to be a homemaker?

He didn't think anything, because it was his idea. When we married I was working for an afterschool program with local elementary schools, and going to college. After graduating I worked at a pediatric dentists office for a couple years, and then we had a surprising/rushed move out of state for Dylon's work. Once we got settled into our new life in Utah, I started looking for work, and that's when Dylon suggested I stay home or just work for fun *making coffee!*. This stemmed from the fact that we had both agreed during our engagement that it, in our opinion, was best I stay home once we had children. Right before the move I suffered from my first miscarriage, and even though we didn't have a child yet, it was apparent that it was in our near *sort of* future. Therefore, he didn't think it was worth me trying to find a job just to quit later.

 

3. Why do you think homemaking is so important?

Now I don't want to offend anyone, I am aware that staying home is not what works for every family, I am only speaking for our situation. Homemaking is important to me because I've always felt that if I were to have a family, I needed to be the one to take care of them. I feel its my responsibility as a mother to teach my children to be productive members of society, and although I don't want to shelter my kids from the realities of the world, I want to make sure I am there to help them understand it. I want to always be available to answer questions, lend a listening ear, and offer advice. Call me old fashioned, but its just not a responsibility I feel I should put on someone else.

 

4. How do you think your family would function if you went back to work?

Since I am working a little, I'm going to take this as "if I were working full time". I think we could make it work if necessary, but it would be hard. Dylon works long hours of physical labor, and therefore doesn't have the energy to help with a lot of housework. If there were two of us that tired I think we would both be worn ragged. Not to mention have you seen how much childcare costs?! With the field I have my degree in now, we wouldn't be much better off with me working after paying the daycare fees. I looked into it when we were living in Colorado and I would be making a grand total of $3 an hour... no thank you.

 

5. What are some things you've had to sacrifice in order to stay home?

Nothing really. As I mentioned above, that three dollars doesn't make that much difference in the long run. We've kind of set up our life to be this way from the beginning, since we knew its where we were headed. I guess if I had to choose something, I would say I have sacrificed the adult social time I used to get from going to work everyday.

 

6. Any advice you can give to women who want to become homemakers?

Don't think it will be easy. Being a stay at home mom can be hard, lonely, and there isn't a lot of room for failure with everyone you love the most relying on you to keep things in order. Make sure you and your husband are one the same page, and keep and lines of communication open on what you expect from each other. Lastly, stay motivated, keep a cheerful attitude, always make time for yourself, don't forget who you used to be, and what you used to love to do. Homemaking isn't forever, and you'll need those things to fall back on when the kids are older.

 

That's it! There is my homemaking tag. I'm going to continue to clean my house while listening to cheesy 80's music to keep motivated. Have a fabulous night everyone! Here's some music for your listening pleasures. *I plan on listening to this song on repeat until I hate it* :)



 



Viral Video Responce - Dont hate me for it

I tend to be overly opinionated/outspoken, so I was REALLY hoping to stay out of anything political, religious, or controversial but I just can’t let this one go. It’s been on my mind for the past week, and the only solution I can think of is to put it all out there. I want to clarify that everything I'm about to say comes from a good place inside of me, no matter how "judgmental" it may seem. As much as I love a good debate, I want to keep the atmosphere of my blog positive, and hope that can be respected.

I was sucked into watching a video that claimed it "WILL make you cry", because I am not a crier, I love watching these viral videos as a personal crying challenge. To my surprise I was linked to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAHCqnux2fk

A video about a little girl named Ryland, who at the age of two started showing interest in boy things *clothes, toys, etc.* and making comments that she was in fact a boy. Now at the age of five, with the help of her parents, she has fully embraced the transgendered life and made the transition into a "boy". I can gladly say that I didn't fail my no cry challenge, but I did get that awful sick feeling when I know it’s coming. However, not for the reasons most would think. I nearly cried during the video because I was sad for this poor girl and her family.

There are so many things that feel are so very wrong about this situation. I am no expert, that is a fact, but I like to think I have more training/experience working with children than the average Joe, and I just don't think this is right. For the sake of clarification; am I anti transgender? Absolutely not. Could Miss Ryland actually be transgendered? Sure. But five years old isn't the time to make that decision. We have the age of consent put into place for a reason, and even then the human mind isn't equipped to make full rational decisions. It is proven that the frontal lobes in the brain are not fully connected until your early to mid-twenties. This is the part of your brain that can comprehend if something is a good idea and what the consequences would be. Put plainly you are not capable of seeing "the big picture" until AT LEAST age 21.

There is a survey of mine from when I was in kindergarten in which I claim I wanted to be waitress when I grow up... A waitress? What? No. I had such little life experience and so little to draw from at five; I actually thought being a waitress was the end goal. Not to mention my thought process at two. I doubt I wanted to be anything when I grew up, I don't even know if I 100% knew I was going to grow up. I don't know, I might have wanted to be a giraffe, or a Barbie princess. I don't remember, but I can promise you it wasn't a gem full of rational thought.

That's what makes being a child so magical! That line between fiction and reality is still blurred, you can lay in the bathtub and envision yourself being a mermaid, you can eat dog food with the dogs because you are in fact "one of them", and you can wear boy clothes and play with trucks and pretend you're a boy. Why can’t this child be a child? This isn't the time to make big earth shattering decisions, it’s a time to have fun and be carefree, the growing up and finding your true self will come with time. Making such a big change at her age is extremely detrimental and borderline brainwashing.

Mind you, I do not believe that Ryland's parents are knowingly "brainwashing" their daughter, but I do believe that their bleeding hearts have been victimized by some crazy doctors. They are only trying to do what's right and make sense of the situation. Any loving parent would, but I don't think the bigger picture was taken into account. In the video they make mention that the suicide rate for transgendered people is very high because of lack of acceptance from society. I'm sure this is a sad truth. However, this is a problem that goes SO much deeper than people being allowed to dress like and partake in activities of the opposite sex. It is a problem concerning how society will treat you on a deeper level. Ryland's parents can’t really believe this is the end all and their daughter will be safe from the suicide statistic can they?

Fact of the matter is, when it comes down to it, no matter how supporting your friends and family are, there will always be people who aren't. What happens when Ryland goes to school? Since the family went public, keeping her true identity a secret from peers is out of the question. She will be bullied. As much as I hate to say it, children can be an awful force to be reckoned with. No matter how much we teach them kindness, we can only hope they uphold those standards when sent off to school and many of them wont. Fact is fact. Being bullied only leads children down the exact path that her parents are so desperately trying to avoid.

Also, what is she going to do when she wants to date? As a teen it never feels good being the kid that nobody wants to be with. Other girls or boys might not want to date her. Not even necessarily because they are intolerant, it could just be that they are uncomfortable with the situation. It is hard to be transgendered, but it is also hard to be the partner of one. There is a lot of courage required, and maybe she will find someone gracious enough to date her in high school, but while we're being honest, the chances aren't in her favor. Not feeling loved/liked ALSO leads teens down the path her parents are trying to avoid.

Lastly, there is always that chance that they were all wrong. This could in fact be a long phase. Puberty could hit and she could decide she wants to be girly, she could be a forever tomboy, she could be a lesbian, or she could be transgendered. There are so many options and outcomes from all of this. You think growing up transgendered can be tough? I can only imagine the judgment that would come with changing your mind. This is such a rocky road any way you put it, and should be treated with care and consideration, not in the public eye. The amount of ridicule received, if a second change were to be made, can’t help the avoiding suicide cause either.

I say all of these things, while keeping my own little girl in my mind. As a parent I think of everything in terms of "what I would do". If my Aria showed signs of wanting to be a boy I would entertain her interests, but we wouldn't be jumping with both feet into transgendered wagon. Not all girls have to wear girly cloths and play with dolls. I always want her to feel confident and accepted for who she is. I want our home to be a place where she will feel safe to share what's on her heart with her father and I. If one day she, as an adult, comes to me saying she is transgendered and has given it much consideration, I would accept and support her. I would weep for her, not for who she is, but because I know of all the challenges she will face. I would want to shield her from every blow I know would come, all the while knowing it is out of my control. It’s an awful, helpless feeling even just imagining.

Nobody wants hardships for their child. I am left wondering what the motivation for these parents are. Is the speaking out in the name of tolerance more important than the wellbeing of your child? Or are they just lost? I suppose we all as parents are just doing what we hope is best, and taking it day by day. I only wish that sweet Ryland will find her place in this world, and make it through unscathed, no matter what she chooses.